How Do I Get My Message Across?

"I have a dream..." These are the words spoken by Martin Luther King Jr., one of the most prominent and influential leaders in American History, in his most famous speech in the March on Washington. I don't know much about King. All I know is that he led the Civil Rights movement, which eventually gave Black Americans what they have always dreamed of: equal rights. And I also know that he is one damn good speaker. It seems that whenever he opened his mouth to speak, people listened and they listened well. He speaks passionately and fearlessly. His words ignited fierce emotions set deep in the hearts of his followers and it pushed them into action. I've always dreamed of being like that. I always dreamed of being able to speak what's on my mind without fear. But you see, that's the problem. Because fear won't leave me alone. I'm always afraid to speak up, afraid to say what's on my mind, afraid to say how i feel. I keep thinking is what i'm going to say gonna make sense? What if I make a mistake? What if my grammar is incorrect? (which happens a lot of times). It wasn't just simple fear, it's almost a phobia. When I was in college, there was a time when I was chosen to partake in an oratory competition in our class. All I needed to do was to memorize a speech and deliver it in front of 40 plus people. If you think about it, it doesn't seem so hard. But because of that I got sick and was not able to go to school for two days prior to the competition. I was sooo scared. It's such a shame because I love to speak. Well, I don't exactly love to speak in front of people (specially strangers or people I'm not very well acquainted with) but I do love to hear the sound of my voice and I love the feeling of telling stories or explaining things because it makes me feel smart. In a discussion, whether it be at an office meeting or a class discussion in school, I always feel this urge to say something, to give voice to my opinions and my ideas. But oftentimes I'm defeated by my fears. My fear of being rejected, of being ignored, of being criticized, of being wrong. So most of the times, I stay quiet. And when I do get the chance to speak, I usually get tongue-tied, and sometimes I search for my ideas only to find that they have flown out of the windows of my brain or simply went into hiding. It has caused me so many valuable opportunities and sometimes have gotten me into troubles. And yet I couldn't seem to get over my fears. But I don't want to be a quitter. I don't want to lie back and give in to my fears. Because there's so many things that run through my head and I need to get some of them out. I need to get my messages across. But how would I do that if I'm always so afraid? My boyfriend tells me, "If you want to get your message across, just say it. Don't worry too much about what people would say or how they would react." I think he's right but I find that easier said than done. I know I need to start somewhere. Anywhere. And then I thought of Martin Luther King Jr. again. There was a time when he was incarcerated but that didn't stop him from getting his message across. His "Letter from Birmingham Jail" was as passionate and as fearless as all of his speeches. I started thinking maybe if I could put into writing what I couldn't say out loud then maybe, just maybe, someday it'd help me get over my fear of saying what's on my mind and eventually be able to give me the courage to form the words using my mouth rather than my fingers. I don't know how effective it will be but it's a start and like what I said, I need to start somewhere. No one will help me if I don't help myself. Change has to start from me. I need to gather all my strengths to overcome my fears. I need to become bold and assertive and tough. And if this is the way to do it, then so be it. Because like Martin Luther King Jr., I Have A Dream.

What happened to the oration competition, you may ask? Well, I Won.